this should get a response
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Welcome friend! Consider this your online Steve-and-Adam's room! Traber 611 Online! So kick back, grab your favorite SAGA-esque snack, turn down the lights, and get ready to relive the good old days!
12 comments:
OK, OK, I get it. We need to reconstruct a situation under which this photo makes sense. No problem.
Here's what happened: Coye, polite grandson that he is, was off visiting his grandmother last week. The visit was off to a good start, when suddenly the big, bad wolf (woolf?) showed up and started huffing and puffing, but found that his efforts were no match for the intrepid Texas homebuilder. In desperation, he pulled out his Acetylene torch (times are tough for fairy tale characters these days, what with their intellectual property rights going into the public domain and such, so the wolf is a contractor for BBW construction during the day), and set the house ablaze. Coye, in an effort to save as many of his grandmother's possessions as possible, threw on several of her clothes and ran from the house. In his haste, he forgot all about his dear, old grandmother, who had to save herself from the conflagration, which she did with characteristic aplumb and dignity.
Suddenly,
... Suddenly, in a state of post-traumatic stress, Coye found himself standing At the End of Memory (was it woolf or volf? or both? he couldn't remember) all he knew is he was no longer within his grandmother's house. Yet these strange clothes! Were these, he wondered, the memories themselves or the strange signs of something yet to come (or both)? Caught in this crisis, he was--as he viewed himself--a molten man (a Moltmann?): and as such, he saw the tale from the end and from the beginning, at once; and he was, for a moment, still.
Then suddenly he heard an elderly voice he recognized from somewhere...
It was the voice of Dave, but an old Dave, come back in time from 2063 in what appeared to be a Ford Pinto. After apologizing for using too many ridiculous esoteric allusions in that blog post back in 2007, old Dave climbed back into the Pinto-- entirely forgetting that the reason he had stolen the time machine in the first place was to warn Strauss that he would be gunned down in a photo store parking lot by a group of disgruntled Adam Smith scholars on July 4, 2026-- and drove himself back to his future oceanside retirement home in Vermont.
All this left Coye, who was yet to learn that this post would ever exist, quite confused, but...
[So I reference my field of study and suddenly I'm making "ridiculous esoteric allusions"--I see how it is!]
[Dave, we're academics. All of our allusions are ridiculous and esoteric. Did you see Andy's lame Virginia Woolf reference. Not even worth comment. The BBW construction company, however, was hilarious. Now, the real question is why you didn't tell me about Strauss and the economists. Was that just old-man forgetfulness, or was there some subconscious reason that the message slipped your mind?]
[ridiculous and esoteric...or playful! Any game is lame when called out "from above." I saw woolf and liked it, and ran with the first thing that came to mind. Whatever, why am I writing this?...sdfkldsf ].
Oh look, there goes Dave back and time to save Strauss. Oh look, he's taking the bullets for Strauss. With every impact he's increasingly thankful to be finally written out of this ridiculous esoteric rabbit trail. He breathes his last.
The lead Smith scholar removes he shawl from around his head and drops his gun just as the camera crews arrive. He strikes his classic pose, with his usual grin, pointing at his victim, and says: "yes, yes, there is so much red blood. True." [click, flash, click go the cameras]. Then he looks up, into and points to the cameras and says, "Ah, my hungry little friend, but now there is so much green."
"So much green!" they said, looking at the picture that old-man-Dave held crumpled in his bloodied, dying hand. While the bloodthirsty Smithites stood puzzling over the incomprehensible photograph, Strauss, using his secret communications watch and his authority as chairman of the Fed, called in an precision airstrike on the unruly band. After doing away with the rogue economists, Strauss glanced at the Ford Pinto which, as three time Nobel prize winner (economics, physics, pastries), he immediately recognized as a time travel device. Yet even he could not immediately make sense of the picture in Dave's hand: Why so much green...
What DO I have to wear to get a rise out of you guys?
Not sure why you chose to take down this one.
I didn't take anything down (otherwise known as "pulling a Dusty"). I assumed you did.
I think everyone might have actually stopped reading the blog this time. Though the fact that everyone seems to have switched over is a bit confusing...
weird; it was down for a while, then it came back. Anyway. Yeah, kind of been a lonely place around here lately. Everyone reading from time to time, only a few posting. Well, it was bound to a slow death from the beginning I suppose.
we're all bound to a slow death from our beginning
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