Well friends, it is the first day of the semester here at the unnamed Midwestern university at which I am pursuing those three small letters so coveted by many of us (are just three letters really adequate compensation for so many years of toil? Are they? Discuss.) and I have already perpetrated my first pedagogical error upon my unwitting freshmen. To those of you who may one day find yourselves in some variety of classroom, heed my tale of woe and seek a better path.
The first day of my classes is fairly painless for all parties—in fifteen or twenty minutes I run through the syllabus, highlighting course policies and generally intimidating my students with the sheer volume of writing this course requires. I also read through the roster to determine who has shown up and who has not, and it is at this point, admittedly an easy step in the class period, that I recognized the folly of not reading through the roster before class begins. Things started off well, with the Stevens, Megans and Davids who populate the early half of the list not posing much of a problem. And then my eyes lighted upon “Phantthavong, Bountthaivanh,” and I knew I was in trouble. It only took a moment for me to recognize that I would not be able to sound my way through this name. The very length was daunting, to say nothing of the unexpected contiguity of consonants, the unclear geographic origins, and the roomful of students eyeing me nerviously as they went about forming their first impressions of their instructor. I decided to punt. I skipped the name on the list and then asked at the end if there were any names I had not called. Right on cue, this student raised his hand, pronounced his name, and disaster was averted. However, you would be well advised to prepare more thoroughly than did this hapless graduate student, should you find yourself in similar waters.
He who has ears to hear, let him hear
15 comments:
whoa, nice move Andy
I think that you should have intentionally mispronounced at least someone's name. It's cred, man. You can't buy cred out there...you have to earn it. The kids hear you pronounce everything perfectly, they get suspicious. You have to "bring it down a notch" so they feel like they can connect with you. Using the popular colloquial slang of the day helps as well. Otherwise, you're just gonna come off as a space alien. But if you bust out a "Phanttha...uh...phanttha, er, phantt-tastically hard to say name, my babies," rising into a self-aggrandizing falsetto for the final phrase of the sentence, you'll see the light just turn on in their little, beady eyes.
I don't think more preparation was needed. No one was offended. You saved time. You learned the proper pronunciation from the student. Think about how long tracking down that name would have taken.
And supposedly don't you get more out of a phD than letters. It throws the world of teaching and research doors much wider if not wide open. It let's you support yourself with knowledge that interests you, when you otherwise could not make a dime (or at least many dimes) with it unless you go on Jeopardy or something like that.
You're a bloody genius, Andy. Never would I have come up with that strategy. Another exibit in the case for your superiority and my inferiority. I bow before you in a non-idolatrous sort of way.
I would have just faked an epileptic seizure while singing Follow the Yellow Brick Road and frothing at the mouth. At least that's what my first grade teacher used to do.
Oooh, or you could have just paused, smiled, rolled back your eyes and let that little falsetto friend of yours take over; you never know what you'd get with that one.
Mr. Satan in the classroom...now there's an idea... AAAGGHHHH! Stop asking stupid questions. Stop coming to class hung-over. AAAAAAGGHHHH!!!
Your teacher must not have been a great teacher if she couldn't pronouce "Jones," Dave.
she was in incredible, just danced right through Mejahbie Jfraanziskki before she got to me, then all Oz bould break out.
Andy, you don't give yourself enough credit (in this one instance). I can think of worse ways you could have handled it:
"Hmmm Fan-thra-vog-ong-bounce-the-ivan-h... yeah I'm going to be pronouncing this name...
...
...
...with my fist.
Actually I kind of like "bounce the ivan", can I call you "bounce the ivan"?
Steve seems to be implying that in most other circumstances I do, in fact, give myself too much credit...hmmm... We'll talk later on that, but it was quite an amusing comment
I'm guessing only the pretentious fools of the pretentious variety. . .
hehe sorry Andy, I didn't mean to imply that you usually give yourself enough credit.
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